Color commenting by My Dad, Mets vs. Braves, Sunday, April 25

My father should be on TV. He could talk circles around Joe Morgan and Jon Miller in the ESPN booth (no easy feat). He’s sort of a cross between Phil Rizzuto (in full “O Holy Cow!” mode) and Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos. Here’s a sampling of his analysis, as we watched the Mets play the Braves, Sunday night, April 25, on the Self-Acclaimed Worldwide Leader…


Top of the second:
This Pelfrey, he’s always licking his fingers. He’s going to wind up with a disease. Who knows what one of these players have?


After the third out, t
op of the second, Mike Pelfrey and the Mets walking off the field:
What was the purpose of a dugout? Why couldn’t it be level years ago? Because it could be cooler maybe for the players? This guy’s eating his shirt, besides licking it. This guy eats his shirt, licks his fingers. Not very sanitary.

(Dad then momentarily switches the channel to The Cleveland Show on Fox5 during the commercial break.)


Two outs, Pelfrey at bat, bottom of the second:
Dad:
You want a cookie?
Me: Sure. What is it? Chocolate chip?
Dad: No, flax seed.

(Pelfrey grounds out, Dad switches back to Channel 5, which is now showing Family Guy; Peter, for some reason is preparing to join a rodeo and is brandishing a hot iron when he finds his daughter, Meg, on the front step of their house.)
Dad: (laughing) He’s going to brand her.


Top of the third, man on first, one out:
They got a man on, no out.
(Jon Miller then uses the word “omnipresent” in referring to Pelfrey’s high pitch count. Miller 1, Dad 1.)


Top of the third, two on, one out:

Now it’s starting to pour again. A lot of rain. They just had a close-up. Not as hard as it was, but it’s coming down.


Top of the third, two on, one out:

(Jason Heyward grounds into a 6-4-3 double play to end the inning, right after my dad notes that Pelfrey has allowed “like” seven Braves on base already.)
Double play! This guy’s getting away with murder.

(Now back to Family Guy.)


Bottom of the third, no outs:
All these guys, they’re second-stringers. Even the pitchers. How do you expect to win with these guys? How do you like that stadium in Minnesota? It’s pretty nice, except it’s cold there.


Bottom of the third, one out, Jose Reyes coming to bat:
(ESPN shows a clip of Reyes’ first-inning single)
That would have been a “crushed” single if this was on YES.


Bottom of the third, two out:
(Dad notes that David Wright puts his shirt collar in his mouth when getting into his batting stance, something I never observed before.)
You see him do that? You missed it. Watch him! Watch him! He  just did it again.


Top of the fourth, two outs:

(Pitcher Tommy Hanson singles cleanly to right field; Jeff Francouer smiles after bobbling the ball as he fields the grounder, perhaps looking to throw Hanson out at first.)

It’s like Buddy. We used to throw Buddy out from the outfield.

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